Dating 24/7: 2018

Monday, May 21, 2018

People Confess The Real Reasons They Cheated On Their SO

He shouldn’t have been in a relationship in the first place.
I shouldn’t have been in a relationship in the first place as I wanted to fuck every decent looking girl I met. And if they were up for it, then we went at it.
I’m done with all that now.
His girlfriend was too vanilla in bed.
We had been slowly falling out of love and turning into roommates that occasionally rubbed privates together.
There was a lot of talk about spicing it up in the bedroom but by her own admission, she’s pretty vanilla and didn’t want to wrap her head around the idea of other positions besides missionary and her being on top.
I had been training a very attractive and smart woman at work who noticed I was having a hard time one day and I spilled everything out to her at lunch.
A few more weeks of shameless flirting between the both of us culminated in an incredible night in a hotel room that currently holds the top preferred customer spot in my spank bank.
It felt awful imagining my girlfriend’s face but at that point the path ahead was crystal clear, we broke up the next day and I never told her what happened. The co-worker and I continued to date off and on for two years. We never could make a relationship work but fell back on the sex.. that whole time was full of lessons I’m still learning.His girlfriend wasn’t there for him in his time of need, but his ex was.I was in a serious car accident.
My GF at the time was really busy and couldn’t be there for me the way I wished. But my ex was. One thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with my ex.
Worst decision of my life
She never trusted him in the first place.
The reason was because she was constantlly [sic] accusing me of cheating after I caught her cheating and speaking with her ex behind my back.
She would steal my belongings and if I broke up with her she would use that against me to force me to talk to her and eventually get back together because sex…
Just ended a month ago when she caught me on a date with another girl and hit me with her car. So it was kinda worth it. Though my custom made ironwood bear, watch and ps4 are gone now ??
It was just a drunken mistake.
There wasn’t any logic.
I was drunk and didn’t stop the advances of another girl.
I had never been so happy than in my prior relationship. Never felt so loved and loved someone so much.
I gave up everything in a split second….
It was payback for what he put her through.
My SO had cheated on me multiple times, and one night I said “fk it” and went out to get drunk with work mates.
I met a guy that I worked with that treated me like a princess, was attentive and all around sweet. We hit it off. It wasn’t intentional, it just happened.
I remember thinking that it was a bad idea and then thought “you know what, I deserve happiness too. It’s not all about [my SO]”.
I left my SO the next day. Best decision I ever made.
He was thinking with his dick.
No logic. Thinking with my dick.
Feels good in the moment then regrets later.
Why would I risk so much for such a stupid fleeting feeling? I love my SO.
This is way back in my past and I’ve learned a lot and wisened [sic] up.
He was self-destructing.
I was in bad shape in terms of mental health and I went through bouts of wanting to self destruct. Basically, I wanted to feel like garbage and sleeping with people who didn’t care about me did that. I did a lot of other self destructive things as well.
You know how they say “I should have been on the back of your mind.” or some crap like that? The truth is, I wasn’t thinking about my SO at all when I did those things, even though I loved them deeply.
I just wanted to kill myself without killing myself.
The “right” woman just wasn’t right for him.
I was with a woman who should have been “right” for me.
But, she was cold, distant and a bit of a bitch. She was smart, witty, well liked and highly thought-of by colleagues and friends; but, behind closed doors, she was the opposite.
I tried to change her, I even tried changing myself.
She had “accidentally” cheated on me earlier in our relationship, and when I met someone who was nice to me and made me feel good about myself… Well, I went for it. Cheated on my SO.
But, to be fair, I dumped her immediately afterward.
The relationship was terrible.
I was in a terrible relationship where we didn’t get along at all.
There were rumours that she was with another guy. I though [sic] “fuck you” and just started hitting it off with some other girl.
We broke up just a few weeks later but the relationship with the other girl lasted three times longer.
I’d say it was worth it.
Her boyfriend was never in the mood.
Our sexual chemistry wasn’t in tune.
He simply was NEVER in the mood. I tried so damn hard – gently giving tips, suggestions etc, but no dice. He just didn’t fuck me. I would buy nice lingerie which he chose, wear it with his response being “sexy” and turning back to the computer.
Eventually I met guys who wanted to have sex and I did. We broke up after I realized how much I could get away with.

The only think [sic] I regret is not ending the relationship sooner.
He lets himself get tempted toward the end of a relationship.
I’m an asshole, and basically when I feel the relationship is coming to an end I’ll let myself get tempted. I’m single now, and I have a lot of growing up to do.
Her constant complaining finally got to him.
I mean I wouldn’t say there was much logic behind it.
I felt like shit about myself and my partners constant complaining about everything was bringing me down.
I should have broken up with her but instead I fucked someone else.
He slipped up with an ex.
My ex and I were still living with one another. She wanted one last hurrah and wouldn’t leave it alone.
I could have done a lot of things differently and I’m filled with regret but that ruined the beginning of the best relationship I’ve ever had. It destroyed trust and its all my fault.
Aside from other issues this was a big error but it has forced me to become better than who I was.
I just wanted my ex out of my life but I should have been honest. Lying is a death sentence for relationships.
It all comes down to one thing…

The 15 Most Important Dating Tips for Women

When it comes to dating tips for women, one size doesn’t fit all. A young woman in her teens or 20s dates A LOT differently than a woman in her 30s and 40s. And while most woman generally want the same outcome, there are certain things women in their 30s and 40s know about dating that they disregarded or simply didn’t focus as much on in their younger years.

That’s why we talked to some of today’s top dating experts to see what they saw as the most important advice women in their 30s and 40s dating today should think about. After going through what they had to say, we came up with these 15 top dating tips for women who are out of their 20s and ready for something more serious.

1. Know your non-negotiables.
These would be those instant deal breakers of yours—he’s a smoker, a non-monogamist, a cat-lover, etc.—that instantly tell you to move on so you’re not wasting your time. “What are those three things that are not negotiable when you’re looking for a relationship?” asked relationship expert Dr. Melanie Mills. “Try not to include physical or financial attributes. Focus on character traits, personality type, and value systems.”
2. Don’t limit yourself.
“In your 20s you might have frowned when thinking about dating a guy with a child or one that had previously been married,” says Mills. But the chances are, if a man is is his 40s, there’s a higher probability he’s been married or has kids. “Stay open to men that have been divorced,” she adds.
3. Don’t lie. Don’t even inflate the truth.
Sure, you want to impress each other, but honesty from the start is a prerequisite to trust, says psychotherapist, Dr. Jennifer Freed. “If the picture or description of your date was inaccurate then the rest of the relationship will be likely be filled with deceptions too.”
4. Forget about any texting and calling rules.
Rules like ‘wait 3 days to call back’ no longer apply. “If you treat dating and love like a game, someone—or both of you—will end up the loser,” says host of, The Rendezvous with Simon and Kim on iHeart Radio, Simon Marcel Badinter. “If you want to, call back in the next 24 hours. It has to be honest and spontaneous if you want to be respected and start a healthy relationship.”
5. Pay attention to the red flags.
You know that feeling you get when you know something isn’t quite right? If your date can’t answer simple questions about where he works or acts super shady, chances are something weird is going on. “Listen to what your gut is telling you,” says Mills. And that goes for behaviors too. If he’s already getting on your nerves and it’s only the first date that’s another indicator that you’re just not going to work.
6. Know who you are as a person.
This is a complex one but necessary to surviving in a rapid dating world, says sex and relationship expert, Dr. Nikki Goldstein. “Building strength and self-confidence is key. The reality of it is, dating can be hard and feelings can be hurt. But if you know who you are and how you want to be treated then you won’t allow someone (or the dating scene) to continually hurt or discourage you.”
7. Be emotionally available.
Maybe your past relationships haven’t turned out like you wanted them to, or you feel like every date in the past month was a lemon. Well, get over it. “It’s still up to you to open your heart—and keep it open. This can be scary because you don’t want to get hurt. However, in order to grow and connect, you must be available and vulnerable,” says Mills.
8. Watch the alcohol.
Especially on date number one. Not only can getting drunk be risky and a turnoff, it also clouds your judgement. “Using substances like alcohol or drugs is not a good first date. It’s away to avoid a genuine connection,” says Freed.
9. Remember that dating is an exploration.
Dating should be fun and nothing more than a way to meet and get to know another person, who may or may not be fit to share your life with you. “[Dating] is not a commitment. There is no obligation involved with dating. No one owes anyone anything ever,” says Freed. It’s easy to get excited about someone and start planning your future together, but remember that you’re both just figuring out if you even like each other first. Don’t put pressure on things by feeling like you owe each other something, you don’t.
10. Know your sexual boundaries.
“Many women can confuse sex and sexual desires with a guy’s interest in them. He wants sex, she also wants sex but thinks him wanting sex means there is something more,” says Goldstein. “Explore your sexual boundaries and know where they are and why they’re there.” And, even more importantly, don’t let yourself be pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do just because you want to gain someone’s interest.
11. Don’t hide your enthusiasm or interest.
One of the dating tips for women we hear a lot is not to let a man know you like him, or to play hard to get. Well, that’s just wrong. Sure, a little mystery may be sexy in the beginning, but the game gets old fast. Even research shows that playing too much hard-to-get makes others like you less. At a certain point, you just have to let the man know you’re interested.
12. Be the date that you want to have.
It’s not only your date’s responsibility to make the date a success, it’s your responsibility too. “Engage in dialogue. Put the cell phone away. Be attentive. Ask questions. Don’t bring up your ex. Take an interest in the details of his life by listening, paraphrasing, and engaging,” says Mills.

13. Ditch the dating wish list.
Have your non-negotiables and boundaries, but dating with a strict itemized wish list—he must make this much, be this tall, drive this car, be this funny—will only hold you back from men who could be great for you in real life and limit you to men who only look good on paper, says Goldstein. “If you need a wish list it should be small and include feeling words instead of car makes and job titles,” she adds.
14. Have fun and release the pressure.
It’s normal to feel pressure as you watch your friends get married and have children, but remember that every person’s path is different. “You don’t want to settle down with a guy who’s not right for you. Therefore, release the pressure you place on yourself to lock down your next date as your future husband. Take each date one date at a time and have fun,” says Mills.
15. Be your true self.
Any falseness or pretending will stop you from knowing that someone is into you. “If you’re real, you’ll get real results. Be brave, be true, and most of all, believe that someone will celebrate and desire you,” says Freed.

The 21 Most Important Dating Tips for Men

Text versus call, hike versus drink, ask more or fewer questions… The ins and outs of dating can be very confusing for men these days. However, many of the tried and true dating tips never change. So in an effort to help out the fellas out there, we asked dating and relationship experts from across the board what the most important dating tips for men are.

Here’s their list of the top 21:

1. If you met someone in person, then ask for a date in person or on the phone.
“Don’t email or text to ask a woman out for the first time. The latter are impersonal, and dating is all about getting to know someone personally. It also sets a poor tone for the relationship’s communication dynamics.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist
2. While online dating, don’t push too quickly to meet in person.
“For most women, online dating involves a certain level of risk and anxiety so spend time getting to know her online and through phone and video chats before suggesting meeting in person to ensure she feels comfortable.” – Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
3. Take initiative.
“When you’re talking or texting while planning the date, as the guy always have a time and place in mind. You never want to get into one of those exchanges like… ‘What do you want to do? Oh I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ Be confident and make a recommendation.” – Radio Wright, Online Dating Expert
4. Make your first few dates in public.
“Make your first few dates in public and drive separately to let the lady know making her feel safe is your top priority.”- Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
5. Take your date somewhere you’ll feel comfortable.
“You might think that you’re being a gentleman by letting your date decide where you go on your date, but women like to see that you can take control. Help cut through any nerves by arranging to meet up in familiar territory that will help you feel more comfortable.” – Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
6. Call her to confirm the date.
“Doctors and dentists do it; so should you. Since men usually don’t pick up the women they date, calling to confirm a date is pretty easy and puts the women at ease.” – Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert
7. Look your best.
“A lot of guys don’t think about how they look before going on dates, even though women pay attention to the little details related to appearance. Make sure you are well-groomed (check for dirty fingernails, freshly apply deodorant, shower). Second, make sure your clothes match, aren’t wrinkled, and look decent on you.” –David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
8. Confidence is key.
“The way you enter a room or share a glance are indicators of your confidence working for you or against you. When you feel odd or awkward people can pick up on that uneasiness which will equate to whether or not you are perceived as attractive. One of the best ways to make a good first impression is by showing your confidence.” – Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
9. Open doors and hold seats out.
“Women appreciate these old-school good manners. They also convey that you’re appreciative of her choosing to spend her time getting to know you.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist
10. Turn off your phone.
“There’s nothing more annoying then phones going off while you’re trying to spend quality time with someone. Turn your phone off completely. If she knows that you’ve turned your phone off to focus entirely on the date, she’ll appreciate that you’re taking the time to engage with her fully.” – Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
11. Keep the conversation fun and flirty.
“Since guys tend to be very analytical, it’s easy for them to turn conversations into a fact-sharing session. Women find conversations like this boring. It’s fine to share facts, but make sure to add in humor, intrigue, and flirtatious overtones. This will make her excitedly hang on your every word.” -David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
12. Avoid the ex conversation.
“Your date will not be interested and it can make things feel awkward. If your date does bring up the subject, try to keep answers short. Reassure her that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know her instead.”– Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
13. Make your first few dates Action Dates.
“Most women aren’t dying to sit down for two hours to share a boring meal with a stranger, playing an awkward game of 20 questions. Instead, plan something more fun and adventurous. (Like bowling, hiking, kayaking.) Especially on the first few dates when impressions matter the most. Give them a date they’ll remember.”-David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
14. Learn how to compliment.
“People put effort into getting ready for a date so take the time to compliment the other person and mean it! Not jus, ‘I like your dress’ but ‘I like how your dress brings out the color of your eyes.’ Always look for the best in others and it will bring out the best in you!”- Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
15. Keep it light hearted.
“Try to keep your conversation light-hearted. On your first date, you don’t want to get into an in-depth conversation about why you don’t enjoy your job, or other issues. Avoid talking about religion, politics, or recent news that’s controversial. Women want a guy who can make them laugh. Yes you do have to be serious sometimes, but in the early stages of dating, have some fun.”– Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
16. DO NOT talk about future plans during a first date.
“This is usually done out of lack of confidence hoping the girl wants to see you in the future. Women will feel this neediness. Just enjoy the date and if things go well, make future planes when you talk on the phone next.”– Radio Wright, Online Dating Expert
17. Leave a little mystery.
“When you are getting to know someone you do not want to lay all your cards out on the table or tell your entire life story. The sense of mystery keeps them coming back for more and creates a certain chemistry that will make you stand out from others.”- Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
18. Offer to make sure she gets to her cab, car, or her next destination.
“Make sure she gets in her car, cab, etc. safely. Women’s safety is important, showing her that you care about her, shows her that you are a gentleman.”- Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert

19. Let her take the first step towards physical/sexual contact.
“This will help her feel like you care about her and not just her body and help her feel safe and that she’s in control of the pace you’re moving without pressure.”- Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
20. Only say you will call her if you truly intend to.
“Women can handle rejection. More people complain about the flakiness and the ghosting. If you are not interested, don’t lead her on. After all, you never know if the next woman you date somehow knows her.”- Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert
21. Don’t play games.
We get that you don’t want to seem needy, clingy, desperate, or overzealous. But if you’d like to see her again, just let her know. “You can weave it into the conversation at the end of the first date (e.g. ‘This was a great evening. Would you open to seeing each other again soon?’) If she says ‘yes’, then say, ‘Awesome. I’ll call you on ___ and set something up.’ Then follow through and call when you say you would.”- Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist

12 Dating Tips That Will Transform Your Love Life

Real talk: Dating is sometimes harder than it should be. After countless dinners and drinks, it can be tempting to throw in the towel and resign to nights of forever watching Netflix alone in your bed. But when dating is done right, it can be amazing, and those great dates often lead to great relationships. So consider this your dating playbook, with all the information you need to survive the first date and make sure there's a second one.

Go Beyond the Bar Scene
Sure, you might meet the love of your life while sipping gin and tonics, but wouldn't it be so much cooler to say you met at a mud run? You never know where you're going to meet the next person you date, so if you're only looking in one spot (like that bar where you're a regular) then you're missing out on tons of possible partners. We know plenty of couples who have met while standing in line at the grocery store, a Target parking lot, even a naked reality show. The takeaway? Love can crop up anywhere, so get out there and keep your eyes open.
Let Your Friends Set You Up
No one loves you quite like your friends do, so let them set you up with someone that they can vouch for. "It's better for single people to meet through friends because there's a familiarity and comfort that goes with that," says behavioral scientist Christie Hartman, Ph.D. "A friend setting you up means the guy is 'vetted' to some extent." So let them play matchmaker—but first, lay down some rules. Make it clear ahead of time that the way the date goes is totally not a reflection on your friend, or you, or the guy. Hey, sometimes chemistry is there, and sometimes it isn't. So unless your friend is Patti Stanger, remind her that it's no one’s fault if this goes horribly wrong. (But if it goes totally right, you should probably buy her a drink).
Consider Dating Your Friends
The term "friend zone" should totally be banished—in part, because your friends can sometimes make the best dates. Think about it: Someone you're already friends with is likely to have similar values, to know your background and your family, and to make you feel ultra comfortable with them. Plus, friendship is the foundation for any relationship, so having that bond established can be key, says relationship expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
Choose the Right Dating Site
The Internet is a beautiful thing: It brought us Twitter, cat videos, Orange Is the New Black, and now, it can bring you love. But when you're ready to make the plunge into online dating, how do you decide which site to sign up for? We found a handy cheat sheet from digital matchmaker Julie Spira, who gave us the lowdown on 12 popular dating sites. Think about what it is you want out of an online dating experience—A hookup? A boyfriend? A marriage?—then choose the site that matches your interests, so you're not just wasting your time online (that's what the cat videos are for).
Focus On First Impressions
First dates can be overwhelming, so streamline your focus into making the first few moments count. It takes only 12 minutes for you to decide if you're interested in the other person (and for them to decide if they dig you) so bring your A-game the second you arrive. To make a stellar first impression, make eye contact, smile, and focus on what he's saying, according to Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room: The Ultimate Guide to Making Lasting Connections—In Person and Online. And don’t forget to check in with yourself, too! You might be so focused on making a flawless first impression that you forget to ask yourself if you’re even into the other person.
Don't Play It Cool on a Date
We've all been told that guys love the chase, but according to research, that's not exactly true. One study showed that men are more attracted to responsive women, and women who were kind and warm right off the bat. That doesn't mean being over-the-top eager—you don't have to laugh at his jokes if they're not funny—but it's definitely OK to respond to that text in a timely manner, or tell him how much fun you're having. Being kind is definitely a turn on, so forget what you’ve been told about playing it ice-cold.
Avoid Oversharing
Word-vomit happens, but one way to tank a first date is to admit how long you spent Google stalking him or accidentally blurt out, "Woah, you look exactly like my ex!" The censorship walls can come down after a little bit, but try to steer clear of these awkward comments on a first date, or we're guessing there won't be a second one.
Pay Attention to HOW You Talk to Each Other
It's more than just what you're saying—it's how you say it. One study showed that when men talk to a woman they find attractive, they tend to vary their vocal pitch from high to low tones (in a sing-songy way). If you're looking to analyze the long-term potential, pay attention to the types of words you both use. Another study suggested that people who use the same function words (maybe you both say "quite" and "tons" a lot) are more likely to couple up and stay together.
Follow Their Gaze
Is it love at first sight? It depends on where their eyeballs land. Research suggests that when someone feels a romantic connection, his or her gaze tends to linger on the other person's face. When they just feel sexual desire, their eyes tend to wander around the person's body. During the next date you're on, follow their gaze. If he's staring into your eyes all night, there’s a good chance he's really into you.
Don't Let Your Friends Ruin Your Vibe
Getting your friends' (and family's) opinion on your new beau is essential, but if you ask too soon, it could color your own feelings. One study showed that when opinions were framed differently—saying that "seven out of ten" people liked your date, versus "three out of ten" people didn't like him—it can seriously affect our own evaluation. So you might want to avoid asking for an outside opinion until you've gotten the chance to make one yourself.
If You're Not Into Him, Move On

Dating someone who you're just not into is a total waste of time. Be realistic with yourself: Are you embarrassed to call him your "boyfriend"? Has he met your friends? Would you rather be watching Netflix than talking to him? Are you only with him for fear of being single? These are all good signs that you're just not that into him, and you should peace out of this relationship. Trust us, being single is way better than being in a crappy relationship.
If At First You Don’t Succeed? Try, Try Again
We heard about a woman who committed to going on 100 dates this summer as a way of learning more about herself, and what she wants in a partner. While we don't think you necessarily need to do a dating marathon, it's often important to just get out there—especially if you feel like you’re in a rut. So when your date goes awry, or that relationship turns out to be a dud, don't give up. Your next amazing date might be right around the corner.